The idea that woman only like jerks is a myth, but it does have a grain of truth to it. Jerks may be forceful and arrogant, but one thing they aren’t, is timid. A woman may be more likely to be attracted to a jerk than an insecure guy, but the man she’ll choose over them both is a confident man.
It doesn’t help that the time when you feel the least confident is usually when you’re trying to approach a woman. The good news is that you can still act confident, and the better news is that acting confident helps you gain confidence.
If you find yourself touching your face or covering your mouth when you speak, you are definitely showing nervousness. Slouching and bad posture also show a lack of confidence.
Other signs for nervousness include avoiding eye contact and fidgeting. If you smoke, it’s a good idea to stop. Smoking behavior leaves some of the most obvious clues to nervousness – and also, non-smoking women will have a very hard time getting attracted to you.
Confident men, on the other hand, stand up straight with their shoulders squared, are comfortable with keeping steady eye contact, and tend to lean back and put their feet up when they sit down.
They keep their hands away from their mouths, and when they speak they gesture from themselves to the other person. But even confident men make mistakes. You need to avoid coming across as arrogant or unconsciously treating a woman as if she’s a man.
Steepling your fingers is a common gesture of confidence – but it means that you’ve either proved a point or you’re about to. It isn’t very appropriate when you’re asking a woman out.
Leaning back and putting your feet up may project confidence, but if you go the extra step and rest your ankle on your knee and put your hands behind your head, you start to look aggressive.
Standing with your hands behind your back and your chin thrust out is a classic arrogant posture. It’s a position to take when you’re the boss of whomever you’re speaking to, and it’s also not appropriate on a date.
Here’s an example of how to approach a woman with confidence:
Walk toward her with your back straight and shoulders back. Meet her eyes, smile, and offer to shake her hand as you introduce yourself. If she is seated, sit down as well so that you are at her level. Sit quietly, maintain eye contact, and when you speak, gesture from yourself to her. With practice, not only will you be able to act more confident as you approach women, but you will actually be more confident.